It's time

for me to say all the things I've been thinking but haven't said out loud.

A lot of today has been me hearing people complain about things that aren't really things to complain about. And I don't want to complain about them because, well, that's being hypocritical. I just want to experience some freedom that I feel like I'm not experiencing, and I'm not sure whats holding me back. I feel that it is probably myself, but I don't know what about myself.

So this semester I really want to focus on living in freedom. The freedom I have as an individual and a child of God. I want to spend more time with my heavenly father. Doing kingdom work because ultimately that is what matters. That is what will cause us to hear "Well done good and faithful servant." That is what I believe. That is what I want. Living a life of Faith means knowing full well that you are on a journey of a life time. It's taking the road less traveled. It's hard, it's lots of hills and valleys. But I believe its worth it.

This semester I want to experience community. I want to be open with brothers and sisters. I want to love. Sometimes I feel like this is so hard to do because, of people. People are hard to love either because they don't want to be loved or you don't want to love them. I'm an RA this semester, this puts me at a perfect opportunity to create community and almost forces me to reach out to those around me. I want to do this... by biggest enemy is time and insecurity. Now that I recognize the enemy, I can better fight them.

Part of being in community and walking further on my faith journey means realizing that everything is Spiritual. So often we spend our time trying to disconnect tangible matter and heavenly things. When they are in fact directly connected. We all have a soul. As Christians we have the Holy Spirit. Satan exists.The Bible says we fight not against the flesh and blood but against the Spirit. I feel that the community we create with one another would be so different, and I cant describe how or necessarily why, if we would realize this. The way we interacted with others and the way we handled ourselves, would be so different if we acknowledged the Spiritual nature of things. I don't know how to expound on this because it's gonna take a lot more thought.

I also really want to focus on school work this semester. I was able to bring my GPA last semester from a 2.8 to a 3.2 which is an accomplishment for me. I'd like to aim for a 3.5 this semester. Its not easy for me to make this accomplishment because I hate school. But I like to learn and expand intellectually. So I've realized that I can grow if I actually take time and think about my school work. put effort in to it.

This is hard to do when I am being pulled in all different directions. everyone wanting first priority. I need to take time to reflect on this. Pray about things. and approach God, in order to discern what should take first priority (obviously time spent with Him should be first).

Alright. This is all for now. Sarah is here talking. and I need to try to get my paper done for Christian Faith class with Kiz.